Do you really need to have friends at work? I think you do….I recently read two articles one said, yes, you need friends to feel engaged and the other said NO you don’t. It was interesting I read that there is a decline in “friendships at work” from the ages of 50 – 55…they say it is because you are generally higher up in your career and you are busier at home, so don’t have time to foster relationships. I have met some of my closest friends at work. I even met my husband at work, but I haven’t had a great “work friend” for close to 10 years. Guess what, I am 50. I know that I personally feel lonely without a work friend, but now 50% of the people I work with (in my department) are the ages of my kids….YIKES!!! Also, sometimes when you are the last to come into a department all the relationships have been formed. I have been at this job for more than 90 days, I can go 7 hours of the day without anyone stopping by to say hi….it can get lonely, but then again, I don’t say hi to them either… LOL…I want friends, but I don’t want to invest in them. I like the ones I have, and I am in the “FU fifties”, I worry I might blurt something out and piss people off, then I will never have friends. HAHAHAHAHA…

It has been some time since I posted to this blog, but I am so bored in my new job that I figure I need to do something.  I saw a mug on an Etsy site that said

“Askhole”

“Definition…. a person that constantly asks for your advice yet always does the opposite of what you told them”. 

I couldn’t help but laugh because we all know someone who does this and most likely have done this ourselves from time to time.  The reality is that people know the answers, the answers are within them.  They just don’t feel confident to do what they already know.  It is human nature to reach out to someone and “ask” their advice, we do it because we are hoping they will tell us what we want to hear and when they don’t, we don’t want to hear it.  I have found that people (including myself) make the same mistakes over and over and over again and we do that until we are truly ready to make a change.  Sometimes a circumstance gets so awful we have no choice, but to make a change.  Sometimes we just figure it out.  This mainly happens in relationships and I don’t mean just of sexual nature.  I also mean friendships.  I have a few friends that only reach out when they want advice from me (because they know I won’t judge) or they just want to vent and talk something through. It is funny because THEY KNOW the answers and while we are talking I hear them say “I know, but….” Yet they continue to make the same mistakes.  I call it “shopping down the same aisle”, if you keep shopping down the same aisle you will ultimately get the same result.  These are the same “friends” that never check in with me and see how I am doing.  I always say to myself, “I am not going to be there for them the next time they reach out”.  Guess what?  When they reach out, I am there.  I thought of them when I saw the “Askhole” mug, but as I write this blog I realize I am also and “Askhole”

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life!!
Did you know that we have thousands of thoughts per day and they say that approximately 80% of those thoughts are negative…. Have you ever tried to call your friend a few times and when they don’t call you back you think “maybe “Sandy” is mad at me because I didn’t like her post on FB” or “maybe “Sandy” is mad at me because when we were in High School we had that disagreement”?. When the reality is that your friend may be out of town, super busy with the kids or just living life. It is amazing how much stress we create by thinking negative thoughts. If we change our thoughts, we can change our lives. Your life is a reflection of your thoughts, think differently about your life. Think positive for a full day, don’t jump to conclusions about anything or anyone and when you start to think negatively change it up. Change your thoughts to positive ones. You will be amazed at how great you will feel and how just this little step can completely change your life!!!
Loving Life,
Sandy

Isn’t it amazing how one word can make someone smile?  I was at Tampa International Airport last night.  It was a cluster, but I won’t get into that because I am not going to live in the past (even 20 hours ago) …….When I got up to the gate, I decided that I would go buy the new People Magazine in the airport store.  I went up to the cashier and he said “how are you tonight?”  I said “GREAT”….he looked at me with a big smile and said “that is awesome that you are great, what a wonderful world we live in, you just made my day”.  I thought to myself, how amazing that one word really made him smile!!!

So when you see someone today and they ask how you are doing…please take moment to smile and say GREAT!!! Smiles are contagious and you could make someone’s day!!!

Have a GREAT, GREAT Day!!!

Sandy

“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is” Jim Carrey

Definition of Karma

The Buddhist believe that whatever you do comes back to you, e.g. if you do something good, something good will come back to you, and if you do something negative, something negative will come back to you.

What are your thoughts on Karma?   I think Karma can come off as a negative word, I like to think of it in a different way.  I like to think that every action has a reaction and if that action is positive, then great and if the action is negative then you better duck, right?  I had a session last night with someone that is trying to deal with a negative force in his life.  This was a difficult one because this person is not going to be out of my clients life any time soon.  My client has to interact with the person often.  As my client was speaking I truly felt helpless for him.  He talked about how he needs to change the way that he looks at this person and perhaps be more empathetic.  I give him credit for seeing it that way.  I tried to position it to him in this way by referring to a quote I saw recently by Awesome Life Tips. That says “Practicing and attitude of gratitude is about choosing to be grateful for the lessons, experiences and gifts in every situation and there’s always a lesson! Even when we’re in the midst of it, amazing things are happening to us and we’re being pushed to grow, shift and expand in new ways.  Trust the process and stay positive”.  I think that this quote rings true, there is a lesson in everything we do, positive and negative and if we can find that lesson and consider it a gift then the rest is easy. My client and I spent a lot of time talking about how he can’t control how other people feel, he can only control his own feelings.  I know that once my client can find the “gift” in this negative relationship and also master the fact that he can only control his own feelings he will then be able to look at the relationship differently.  The relationship may never thrive, but it will be easier for my client to deal with and that is ultimately what he wants.

Lesson in all of this…you get what you give !!! 🙂

I have been inspired to start this blog by my SOUL sister, coach and client….Terri.  Terri has a blog titled my intentional soul (www.myintentionalsoul.com).  Once I read Terri’s blog, I decided to follow in her footsteps.  My hope is that my clients can use this blog as a “go to” place filled with inspiration and positive affirmations that will help them on their way to finding balance in their lives and reaching their full potential.

I am super excited about this next chapter in my life and I welcome you to join me!!!

Sandy

“Every Negative Belief Weakens the Partnership Between Mind and Body”

                                                                                                               Deepak Chopra